So, you’re obviously here because you either have a suspicion you are addicted to plants and need to verify with this very legitimate list or someone has sent this to you as a possible hint *coughintervention* to calm the F down.
But you know what? Joke's on them because we’re not here to help.
We are here to praise your addiction and the hot plant addicted mess you’ve become.
We salute you for eating toast that night because you spent all your money on plants that day and we will continue to cheer you on for creating urban jungles everywhere you go.
Let's face it, no one is safe when the likes of you walk into a plant-less room and we’ll be standing right behind you when you give that Mother In Law air cleaning speech.
Here are 20 signs you're addicted to indoor plants:
- You can't walk past a plant nursery without seeing if there is a new plant to buy that you don’t have yet. Then when you find one, you post a "welcome to the fam" pic on the gram.
- You constantly walk around your house poking your fingers in pots.
- You talk to your plants and tell them how good they look. “Look at you, aren’t you a show off!”
- You have a "sick bay" area of plants that you are trying to heal that time you accidentally forgot about a whole bunch.
- You have filled every nook and cranny of your house with plants.
- You have a propagation station and your root game is strong.
- You are the least judgy person but when it comes to walking into someones house and noticing there are no plants, you cut them. #byefelicia
- You have once wondered how non plant people are still alive, breathing in gross polluted air all day.
- You are the token plant peep in your workplace.
- You’ve stolen cuttings from peoples yards and didn’t even feel bad about it. Good, you shouldn’t.
- People come to you for plant advice and you need a full consultation/backround check on the plant before you can give advice.
- You walk past fake plants, shudder and wonder WHY. Can you not. Can you just, not?
- You can't get your life together but you have a leaf wiping schedule every Sunday.
- You give your cat the silent treatment for days after noticing them eating your spider plant and ruining those perfect tips.
- When your friend/partner/family member accidentally knocks over a plant and you have to act like its fine but you’re actually dying inside and need to remember to blink and smile to hide your anger.
- You wonder who is in charge of the indoor plant section in Bunnings so you can talk to them and tell them the plants look shit. Do you even care dude?
- You consider applying for that job in Bunnings.
- You dramatically squeal when a new leaf emerges and let everyone around you know that this very non rare occurrence has happened to you.
- You have a plant friend as equally obsessed with plants as you and you have lengthy conversations about the importance of aeration and re-potting.
- You gram a plant pic a couple times a week because the plant gang ain’t gonna gram itself.